"There was a feller here once by the name of Jim Smiley, ... he was the curiosest man about always betting on any thing that turned up you ever see, if he could get any body to bet on the other side; and if he couldn't, he'd change sides. Any way that suited the other man would suit him any way just so's he got a bet, he was satisfied. But still he was lucky, uncommon lucky; he most always come out winner. He was always ready and laying for a chance; there couldn't be no solittry thing mentioned but that feller'd offer to bet on it, and -take any side you please" -MARK TWAIN
At times I feel like Jim Smiley, but not when it comes to betting, but arguing.
So, for your reading enjoyment (and self improvement) I have put together a few pointers and tips.
1) LISTEN to the other side of the argument. You can't argue properly if you donn't. You have the same agenda as the other person: to win the argument. Don't get caught up in your agenda, try to break down their argument as well as push your agenda, they go hand in hand. If you catch them doing this (not listening (which is pretty easy once it starts to get heated,)) call them out on it.
"You aren't even listening, you're just waiting for your turn to talk"
It usually catches them so off guard that they lose the argument.
2) Don't stray into arguments about other things. This is a very clever move, and not always intentional. Stay with the argument at hand! If you are arguing about subject A you will lose when you get to argument D. And it's not sudden either, it usually goes like this: arguing about A... then AB gets brought into it... then it's arguing about B and for maybe a second about BA, but then it goes to BC and so forth. Until you can't remember what the argument was about. Don't do it. You will lose.
3) Don't get emotional.
i.e. angry, sad, happy, insulin dependent, annoyed, etc...
4) Find holes in their logic when
they get emotional.
5) Discredit their side of the argument.
6) Never call names. Unless they're being a baby about everything.
When you think you're going to lose, tell them:
Only the dark side deals in absolutes!
That's all I have to say about that.
