Au Contraire Mu Frère

tonight as my family and i were eating dinner, which consisted of salmon, asparagus, garlic mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce (which my mother slaved over to prepare with perfection,) my younger brother decided he would ask if there was any tartar sauce. to which my mother replies "oh... um, let me check"

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i was once dining with a friend who's roommate was the master chef at a fancy hotel/restaurant in downtown Detroit. as we began our meal, he told me, a good chef should never have to put condiments on the table, his food should have enough flavor solely. to ask for a condiment is an insult bested only by refusing the food and sending it back.
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(keeping in mind he works in a restaurant) i looks up and i says, "are you serious?" what followed was him being perplexed by why i was upset, i explained he was insulting her cooking. so then i says (once again keeping in mind that he works in food service, and i never really have) "well if you had ever worked in food service, you would know that" trying to imply that he should know better than i since he works in a restaurant and i never have. he decided to come back with: "well ive worked in a restaurant for over a year, and you never have, so i know infinitely more than you about it."

um, you should probably cover up. your ignorance is showing.

i mean, all of that stuff aside, who puts tartar sauce on salmon?