Argentinian of the Week (1.3.09)

You get three guesses as to who this unabashedly bearded fellow is.

1. Karl Marx
2. Pancho Villa
3. Greg Popovich

I'm afraid that's three strikes, and quite frankly I'm a bit baffled by your second pick. But alas, the fellow with the phenomenal follicular fortitude before you is none other than super-producer Rick Rubin. Yes, your favourite producer's favourite producer, Mr. Rubin is responsible for albums from such diverse luminaries as Run DMC, Justin Timberlake, LL Cool J, Johnny Cash, Neil Diamond, U2, Metallica, The Dixie Chicks, Shakira and The Mars Volta. Owner of 10 Grammy Awards, Rubin could be euphemistically described as having the "Golden Touch", however cannot ACTUALLY be described as having said touch, for the ability was trademarked by one King Midas (the man was ahead of his time). While Comrade Rubin is a perpetual front runner for Argentinian of the Week, he wins this week in light of the revelation that he will be contributing a not insignificant amount to the Clipse forthcoming album 'Til The Casket Drops. We here at M-Theory cannot think of a better way to spend one's time.

And now for the inscrutably scientific phenomenon that is the S.H.A.T. ranking system (The Systematic Honoring of Argentinian Transcendence):

Facial Hair: 11/10 (If Buddha and/or Prince had a beard, it would look like that.)

[Sidebar:] Have you ever seen The Buddha and Prince in the same place at the same time? So we're in agreement that Prince is in all likelihood The Buddha, or that Siddhārtha Gautama was in fact responsible for the 1984 hit "When Doves Cry"? Thought so.[Close Sidebar]

Revolution: 9.5/10 (While he is one of the God Fathers of Hip-Hop and has reinvented the careers of countless artists, he was in fact NOT the first person in history to grow a beard, for which points must be taken off. Hey-- I don't make the rules, I just follow 'em.)

Points In The Clutch: 10/10 (While summering in Jakarta in 2002, Rubin once disarmed 3 bombs in the span of a single afternoon, just to prove to a friend that turkey sandwiches did not dull his mental acuity in the least.)

Miscellaneous: 8/Infinity (He receives an 8 for the number of times he has spoken in front of British Parliament. That may be inaccurate.)

Overall: 38.5/40

*No Karl Marx-es were harmed in the writing of this post.

mushed peas

skrrrrrrrrt

so i know im a little late but i would like to let all you's know that pau scored more points than kobe.

as you were

Honorary Argentinian Of The Week (27.4)

In order to be heralded the inaugural Argentinian Of The Week, your game's gotta be tight. Like tighter than Charles Barkley in a kesho-mawashi. And Mr. Miguel Adrover definitely fits the bill.

Miguel Adrover, or mickey, as I like to call him, first got into the fashion game in '95 when he opened Horn in Manhattan's East Village. He flew the coop in '05 to lay low in Majorca. Currently He's teamed up with Hess Natur designing for the enviro-friendly company. Mickey says: "I am glad to work for this company not only because of the philosophy and sustainability behind it, but because I can work with a clear conscience." Let us all work with a clear conscience, whether hustling or workin that 9-5.

Facial Hair: 10/10
Revolution: 4/10 (he loses points for being late in the game.)
Points in the Clutch: 6/10 (Bandwagon/beginning of the fourth pd.)
Miscellaneous: 15/Infinity (for the *Monkey hiding in his beard)

Overall: 35/40


*No Monkeys were harmed in the writing of this post.

Introducing

The Honorary Argentinian of the Week. If its dope, fly, fresh, cold, smooth or crisp-- it's probably Argentinian in origin. Go ahead, try it out. Einstein? Born in Argentina. General Tsao's Chicken? Invented in Argentina. The original "Terminator"? Based on the exploits of an Argentinian paper boy. I assume the congruency between "all the things good" and Argentina is quite evident at this point.

Points will be awarded in the following categories: Facial Hair, Revolution, Points In The Clutch and Miscellaneous. Okay, mostly Miscellaneous. Oh, and ACTUAL Argentinians are ineligible for nomination. Rather, this award is in their honor.

Above, we have two God's of the Argentines, Manu Ginobili and Che Guevara. Breathe in the greatness.